Reviewed by Ian Hamilton
To be blunt, this autobiography starts poorly but, fortunately, the second third of the book is more insightful and the last third of the book is engaging and challenging. In some ways it resembles a play where slowly but surely a one-dimensional (flat) character evolves into a three dimensional (round) one.
The book is quite long (336 pages) and principally comprised of short chapters, some not much longer than a tight anecdote. Many readers will probably respond positively to this structure but a more critical view is that Davies has made little attempt to give this work artistic coherence. That may well be an unfair expectation of a stand-up comedian (who works in a very short-form medium) but Davies’ career has also included a wide variety of more long-form work, including television dramas and sitcoms.
In the least satisfactory third of the book we are exposed to people and events with little sense of the importance of those people and events. It feels like reading a not-very-sophisticated, and reluctantly recorded, diary. In one way the people, the gigs, the parties are informative because they appear to have given Alan Davies little joy or purpose. Clearly, he has a great gift for comedy and enjoys the kudos that goes with being funny but it is sadly obvious that he struggles with self-worth, with anger and with addiction.
Taking up from the previous volumes of his autobiography we know that the source of this anguish is his father’s betrayal of love. As a boy and teenage,r his father sought physical intimacy through inappropriate touching. It is not the least bit surprising that the psychological scars from such abuse remain throughout a life-time.
Unfortunately, the cost to Alan Davies, his friends and relationship partners is very high indeed. One of the reasons that the book demands empathy and patience from the reader is that over and over again Davies sabotages his possible happiness by emotional instability, angry volatility and retarded self-awareness. His chosen escapes seem to have been money-making, drugs and binge drinking. His capacity to demand high fees for his work grew as his fame grew but he seems to, mostly, have hated his celebrity. The exception to this is being able to mix with A-listers such as Whoopi Goldberg.
Some of the most rewarding chapters to read are transcripts – presumably remembered with some degree of accuracy – of his therapy sessions. The man begins to emerge from the haze of self-destructive behaviour and, at last, the reader gains some idea of his undisguised pain. We also intuit the courage required to live with his childhood trauma. The list of damaged relationships and what he calls “angry boy” moments is still alarming but at least we gain some insight into their causes.
By the time the reader has reached the third section of the book, we meet a man with a wife and children and we believe him when he tells us that they are the most important element of his life. He admits that he still poisons things from time to time and reveals the role of couples’ therapy in the survival of his marriage. We even get a powerful adult admission and a sense that he is taking greater responsibility for his life when he writes:
“My tiresome capacity for conflict could find an opening in the most unlikely of places”. (p296)
He is moving to seeing himself as others see him, with many admirable qualities tainted by poor decision-making. While his father must shoulder a great deal of blame, in the end our author is an autonomous human being.
This volume – there may be more? – ends with some sense of hope. Here is a man who has brought laughter and joy to millions of people, he just needs to look in the mirror and see someone of intrinsic worth.
White Male Stand-Up
[2025]
by Alan Davies
Monoray
ISBN: 978 18009 625 8
$34.99; 336pp